Obsessions with Timelines

We love to believe that control is an objective fact: we either have it or we don’t. We are obsessed with confirming whether we’re “doing life” right. However, control is relative and subjective. Eunice Chang expresses a sentiment I’ve been feeling a lot lately:

"It pains me to see that both women and men let the societal timeline of being married and having kids by 30 pressure them into feeling like time is running out. […] Desperation creates urgency. Urgency makes us do irrational things."

Being obsessed with timelines stems from a simple, intrinsic desire for security. We just want to be safe; what we fear are the stages of figuring things out. That’s why our twenties are such a difficult time—we need to figure things out. But we should remind ourselves that “figuring it out” isn’t linear. It’s a process that takes time, trial, and a bit of courage to go after what we truly want.

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